03.29.08
My Best Friend is being Pussy-Whipped
Javier and I have been good buddies since 1999. We met at this lousy factory where they made gold colored plastered mirrors (some shit like that) and sold them for high prices, but our salary was like $5.25. Anyway, we used to hang out 24/7. And while I had incredible difficulties with the daughters of Venus, Javier was a total ladies man. Well, up to a point. Initially, he was succesful at picking up over-weight girls. Later he started scoring thinner hotties. But he didn’t use the stereotypical latin lover approach, popularized so much by the media. He used the I’m a scruffy looking wanna be intellectual but I can dance approach to great success. Then one day, he met this older woman in her 30s, some para-legal with a small daughter who smoked a lot of weed. She like totally dominated him, I don’t know how. Well, he finally dumped her.
In 2005, he moved up to Tallahassee to go to Florida State University and just recently he moved back. But he’s not staying at his family’s place, he’s living with his girlfriend’s family, and they seem to be a nice tight-knit Cuban family (how they allowed him in there, I have no idea). Well, that means no more fun for Javier. No more bar hopping, clubbing, flirting with strange woman in dark dingy corners, talking bullshit at Churchill’s while checking out the hotties. No more walking around South Beach, completely wasted. Now it’s like, they keep him on a leash. And the worst is that now I’m mildly succesful with with women, which means that together, we could wreak havoc on the city. I’ll have to recruit new followers. Form some secret society.
