04.26.08
Posted in , Love & Relationships, Trashy at 5:28 am by Administrator
So there I was, bored one day at work, surfing through the internet instead of completing the excruciatingly boring report I had been assigned. I found this article on msn about www.GoCougar.com. For the uninitiated, a cougar is a term used to describe a woman in her late 30s, 40 or even 50s, who likes to date and bang younger men….like me.
This site helps these ladies, also called MILFs in popular jargon, hook up with horny young men who are tired of girls in their 20s who don’t stop whining, think they deserve George Clooney and think you are so just not up to their standards. And which young man hasn’t at one moment wanted to fuck his hot 10th grade biology teacher. Diamond Dave couldn’t have said it better…Well I went to GoCougar, made a profile and after two weeks, zero, nada, finito. And I posted a decent picture and I didn’t mentioned I lived with my parents. Well I pay most of the rent, so they live with me.
Back in 2005, I found myself friendless. Most of my best buddies left town, and like a stranger in a new city, I had no one to hang out with. So what did I do, my brothers (a nod to Burgess)? I went on www.match.com , made an awesome profile and searched for viable females in the 18-25 age range. I sent messages to at least 50 different women. And NO, I didn’t go for the super hot ones with pictures of themselves partiyng in Crobar or Opium. I went for the ones that seemed like nice, girl next door types. The ones whose profiles said they liked reading, the arts, being productive and didn’t aspire to be a model (no wannabe actresses, this isn’t LA. Thank God). Well how many responses did I get? Only 2. One of them looked like a rocker chick with glasses which I’m cool with. She said she liked skinny-dipping, yay. I wrote back wanting to chat. She never responded. Bummer.
Th other chick was a cute Hispanic girl who went to FIU North campus and studied criminal justice (I thought only former juvenile delinquents studied that). A few messages back and forth, I finally got her digits. I was in heaven. One call, no answer. Two calls, no answer. Leave a message. Three calls, nothing. And I didn’t call 5 times in a night. I know that’s a no-no and will make the girl think you’re a psycho. I waited fucking 6 days between calls. Wasn’t that the rule? Oh well. Fucking bitch.
Don’t get me started on Craigslist. I’m tired of answering personals and then getting a message from a Heather, they always got names like that, telling me she thinks I’m cool and wants to chat, but doesn’t tell me her MySpace or FaceBook url. Instead she sends me some link and when you click it, it’s a porn site, a webcam girl or Singles.net, another piece of shit website. Word of advice: check several of those postings and you will notice they all have similar wording but different pictures of girls. Also, if the girl is a hottie, honestly, would she need to go on a website to meet guys?
In one particular case, the ad on Craigslist seemed real and she wrote back. I MySpaced her and she was authentic, a nice Ecuadorian girl with curly hair, no baggage. Short but curvy. After chatting and some phone calls, she just never answered back. I think these women have several guys they talk to on the side. I might be number 4 or 5, or worse 23. and if I’m the most decent one, that’s where I get a date. And then let’s hope she is not 63, or 6′3″, or Dracula’s twin sister or a tranny or worse. Well, I don’t think there is anything worse than your blind date turning out to be a tranny.
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04.19.08
Posted in at 6:22 pm by Administrator
So yeah, it’s great. My teachers have overloaded me with work. For one of them, Dr. G, I had to do an 8-page essay of social theory, which is excruciatingly boring. For another, Dr. W, there’s also an 8-page paper. And finally, a 15-page paper for Dr. S.
Dr. G is OK; he likes talking about the places he’s gone or lived, and their peculiarities, like the topless women of the Mediterranean. Dr. S is quite demanding and can exhaust anyone. Dr. W is considered boring, but he’s very passionate about his teaching subject, and he helped me get into Graduate School at FIU, so I don’t complain. Note to potential college applicants: Always refer to your teachers as Dr. and beware, lot of them have egos the size of Sudan.
In other news, I’m really happy since now I’m completely sure that my ex-girlfriend Mary didn’t end up pregnant after the loads of sex we had when she came down to Miami in early February. She had felt sick and was late in her period, but eventually her tests came up negative.
I’m trying to fix my blog a bit. Soon I’ll add pictures (hopefuly non-copyrighted). After classes are over, I will post more often. Also, I will try to promote the blog on other websites. My aim is to make it as popular as other local blogs like Sex on The Beach or Stuck on The Palmetto. On April 3rd, I spent the whole damn day promoting it on Youtube and other sites and I got…..drumroll…..53 views. Not bad. But then two days ago I only got 2 views. But I’ll keep hustling. In the wise words of Beck: “Things are gonna change, I can feel it.”
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04.05.08
Posted in at 10:58 pm by Administrator
I am used to always paying for things I need. If I were earning a huge salary I would not care. Even though I currently have a good amount of money saved in the bank, I always try to save a penny. This involves washing my car (detail’s fucking expensive), buying clothes at Ross (where else can I get $80.00 jeans for only $20.00?), and even riding my bike to certain places (have you not seen the price of gasoline?).
Well now I have gotten to the point where I want a few things for free. Now forget the Lotto and Fantasy Five. Hasn’t anybody notice that the prize winners are always from redneck towns in North Florida? Going to the Seminole Indian Casino? Fuck that. First I don’t know crap about blackjack nor poker. Second, most of those machines are rigged in favor of the house. And if by any miracle I win, they’ll assume I’m cheating and they’ll take me to the backroom (You’ve seen Casino, you know what happens in the backroom).
What I have decided to do is that anytime I see a sign for a contest, I sign up for it. Write a 300 word essay, win a cash prize, I’m in. I’m waiting for Jeopardy to come to South Florida, because I know that could qualify. Last time I checked the bastards were in Philly. I’ve also signed up for all promotionsand contests on several Miami-Dade and Broward counties’ radio stations. 93.1 Rock, currently has a contest where you win a trip to L.A. to report on a Motley Crue press conference. Now, I could give a rat’s ass about Motley Crue, but come on, it’s a free trip to L.A.!! Earlier, I had registered to win a free trip to Ireland and also tickets for the Langerado Music Festival, neither of which I won. But I think that if a person registers for every single one of these promotions, eventualy he/she has to win something…right?
Now I’m trying to find out which strip clubs close to my job, have free lunch buffets. Any cafeteria is expensive, and fuck the crap they serve at McDs or BoogerKing. Gotta save money.
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04.03.08
Posted in at 6:09 pm by Administrator
This site is my personal blog, where I comment, and rant about topics in the news, worldly events, music, the arts, stuff that’s going on in my life and general rants about life in Miami, where summer lasts between March and October. I might also tell a story about something that happened to me (preferably a funny event) many years back.
Originally, I was planning on doing a website similar to www.Onion.com. In other words, hilarious fake news. One of my posts was regarding Paris Hilton wearing a chastity belt during her short incarceration. Alas, I decided to switch to a perosnal blog. While I have an excellent sense of humor, it is a bit time consuming to be reading many news entries and writing fake news related to them. Also, I ran out of ideas for funny stuff. Last but not least, what if the people from the www.Onion.com decide to sue me because I copied their idea. Besides, I prefer being original.
Comments are welcome.
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