05.04.08

Being a South Florida Sports Fan is a Tragedy

Posted in , Sports at 5:58 am by Administrator

In late March, I attended a Miami Heat-Dallas Mavericks game at the American Airlines Arena. I hadn’t attended a game since 2002-03, which was one of our worst seasons. I always said to myself that the Heat would improve and I would be in the front row (if I could afford those seats). Well, between being extremely busy, negligence and procrastination, I just never had a chance to go back to a game. During the 2006 title run, I was so busy with classes, I didn’t even notice we were that good until the Heat made it to the finals. By then, all the tickets had been snatched up by bandwagon jumpers.

Now things are different. Shaq just left, Zo might retire, Eddie Jones and his bloated contract also left, Wade is injured. Then Shawn Marion is injured too. I didn’t exactly expect the Heat to be in championship form. But what I saw at this particular game I attended was pitiful. At half time, the Mavs are ahead by 30 points and the Heat simply gave up. Jason Wiliams and Udonis Haslem are benched. They are replaced by reserve players which Pat Riley never, ever allows on the paint, like Chris Quinn and Alexander Johnson.  Of course, the Mavs see that the Heat gave up and they also send Nowitzki to the bench. Finally the Mavs win by…30 points. Well, the Heat just gave up entirely on the game. Why don’t they just bend over and take it up the ass, while we’re at it. What happened to dying with your boots on, or fighting to the last man? Thank God, Riley never pulled off these disgusting displays of ineptitude during the Heat-Knicks rivalry. Riley shouldn’t stoop to these levels, he is not incompetent like Isaiah Thomas. I felt like asking for my money back, then again I was in the $10.00 seats. By the way, I didn’t recall the American Airlines Arena being so huge. You can’t see shit from the 4th level, the players look like ants. But the place is nice. And of course, the Heat dancers are fine, not that any of those bitches would ever pay attention to me. More on that later.

Well, it doesn’t stop with the Heat. The Miami Dolphins haven’t made the playoffs since 2001. Wannstedt and Fiedler were given plenty of chances and they kept messing up. The idea of bringing a college coach like Nick Saban was completely retarded. And the motherfucker ran out of here like Senator Craig runs into a public restroom. Oh, and don’t forget Ricky Williams and his weed. But I don’t criticize Ricky, I’m artistic too. And football can be brutal sometimes. But despite all that, last season was not just dreadful, it was putrifying. My only consolation is that the Jets aren’t much better than us. But our other enemy, the Patriots, are way better. Let’s hope our next quarterback is a real one. No disrespect to Fiedler or Ferotte, but the Dolphins need a REAL GOOD quarterback. Maybe they should call back Marino. He wouldn’t mine. Look at Vinnie Testaverde. He suits up whenever the Jets need him. While I felt that Trent Green still had something left in him, i didn’t expect him to crack his head wide open. That’s just life. We didn’t expect Ronnie Brown to injure himself. Or Ricky to smoke a doobie. Or Saban to be such a fucking chicken. Now if the Dolphins could only lower those fucing ticket prices….

I won’t comment on hockey, because I know as much about hockey as I know about nano-technology  …nothing. Well, I know it’s on ice. You skate. You hit the puck with your stick. You fight and knock the crap out of rivals whenever you can. One guy from the Panthers by accident crashed, flipped over and hit his team-mate with his skates, almost severing his neck….Damn! And they say the UFC is violent….

I’ll talk about the Marlins in the next post. Later kids.

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