06.30.09
Posted in at 10:10 pm by Administrator
Last week, I, like most Americans was shocked and saddened with the news of Michael Jackson’s sudden death. The current generation of teenagers only remembers him as a freakish performer from the 1980s (they probably see Prince in the same way). Since I was born in 1980, I clearly remember Michael Jackson being not just a singer, but a stratospheric cultural icon. It seemed that Michael Jackson could do anything, probably even fly. Michael seemed immortal. His videos and the “Moonwalker” film seemed to give this impression. It was impossible to picture Michael doing stuff that regular folks did. In my universe of awe, MJ was up there with presidents and World leaders.
Sadly, over the years, news of Michael’s eccentricities and odd behavior became common. His scandals were maximized, while his talent was under appreciated. Today, many believe that we never knew the real Michael behind the performance. The glimpses that we got, showed us a confused, lonely and a times delusional man who might have realized how others viewed his actions. I wonder if the strange behavior is a result of excessive adulation as similarities in Michael’s lifestyle can be found with Elvis Presley and a few others. Michael’s behavior caused people to ignore much of his extensive humanitarian work.
Rest in Peace Michael and keep moonwalking in heaven.
Permalink
06.25.09
Posted in at 9:13 pm by Administrator
Catholic priest Alberto Cutie is a well-known, admired and respected figure among the South Florida Catholic community. He used to have his own TV and radio program, besides to being invited to any big local event that was PG rated (I doubt he got invited to the Video Music Awards when they were held in Miami). Despite being a priest, Cutie or Padre Alberto as he called on the Spanish language media, had a large amount of female admirers. Plenty of women enjoyed sticking out their tongues to receive a holy wafer from the holier than thou man.
Well, it turns out that Father Cutie (pronounced Koo-tee-ay), was caught frolicking on the sands of Miami Beach with the horror of horrors, a woman! This caused much distress to church elders and confirmed that Father Cutie was an ass man. A few days later, after the media had had a field day, Father Cutie admitted that he had a girlfriend and ocassionally they made whoopi. This means that Father Cutie was not a virgin and had popped his cork along the way. Good for him cuz celibacy sucks. He subsequently left the priesthood and became an Episcopalian reverend.
Rumors have started to surface that Ruhama Canellis, his formerly secret girlfriend, has a few skeletons in her closets. First, Canellis is divorced and has a 15 year old son (poor kid, people will harrass him with ”yo mama sucked the priest’s dick”); then it turns out she might be a masseusse. An ex-lover has surfaced saying that Canellis used him and wants him deported (poor dude is undocumented). Some folks even say that she leaked her and Cutie’s whereabouts the day of the beach orgy,.. er, I mean dalliance, in exchange for some cash. Likewise, Father Cutie might be loaded, after all he has a radio program, TV show and no wife and kids to spend his dough on.
But the questions remains: how would Father Cutie know if the woman he’s dating is a saint or Satan’s little helper? The poor guy can’t at all. He’s not a sailor. He’s never paid for punani. He wouldn’t know the difference between Jenna Jameson and Mother Theresa. He wouldn’t notice if a woman is dating him only for his wealth and fame (as odd as that might seem in his case). Since priests are supposed to remain celibate (but somehow give advice to married folks), they don’t get to date. They don’t learn about picking up woman in the seminary. Hence, they have a different conception of male-female relationships. Regular guys with some experience can tell when a girl is a slut (likewise, girls can tell when a guy is a man-whore). Regular folks also don’t always marry their first love nor the person with whom they first had sex (regardless of whether it the hot wild type). Those who do, usually end up divorced after three years. In my opinion, everyone should go out there, date a lot, kiss a few folks, lick some punani, do it doggie-style, side-ways, upside-down, master the art of blow job, mix in a few nasty fluids (if that’s your thing), before getting marriage. In the end, let’s wish luck to Father Cutie. Rumors, after all, might be fake. And his new bride isn’t bad-looking either. Just make sure to sign a pre-nup.
There’s Father Cutie, his lover,..er I mean wife and 2 geezers from the Episcopalian Church. Nice hat.
Permalink
06.18.09
Posted in , Life & Arts at 2:58 am by Administrator
This past June 10th, Kim and Kelley Deal from The Breeders turned 48. Wow, time has flown by! Now I realize how far back 1993 seems, when pre-adolescent me discover the beauty of alternative rock. Next thing you’d know, Kurt and Shannon Hoon were dead, Soundgarden was separating, Pearl Jam took a hiatus and several other bands simply fell back into obscurity (yes, I’m talking about you Meat Puppets). Smashing Pumpkins managed to hold up the fort for a time. Then in 1997, the record companies released Hanson (remember Mmm-bop?) on un-suspecting teenagers. They were preparing the ground for their ultimate assault by unleashing N’Sync and Britney Spears on the general public and causing excruciating pain to good music lovers across the country. Luckily, the storm has subsided.
If you’ve ever seen an interview with Kim or Kelley, you know that they are real; they have a sense of humor and an opinion on everyone. There’s never a dull moment, unlike any interview with a pre-frabricated pop star where the answer are predictable and boring.
The Deal sisters both had to deal with drug addiction issues and rehab. The Breeders fell out of the public eye. Luckily, they re-grouped around 2002 and have started doing music again. Let me clarify, that I liked The Breeders, not The Pixies (I have to listen more Pixies, I admit). In between their hiatus, Kim worked with the Amps, her side-project. The recent Breeders line-up includes L.A. musicians Mando Lopez, Jose Medeles and some other dude. I don’t what happened to old band members Jim Macpherson and Josephine Wiggs, I have to google them up. I must say that Wiggs heavily resembles this lesby chick whose been trying to hit on me recently.
Right now, I’m hoping that if Langerado reforms and comes back next year, The Breeders sign up for it. They were at Coachella in 2008, which of course, I missed (by the way, what the fuck ever happened to the Bang Festival?). When checking their website, I noticed they hadn’t visited anyplace remotely close to South Florida. Let’s hope they change their mind. Last but not least, I’ve always found both sisters so sexy. Even though they never wear tight or provocative clothes, they’re the epitome of cool. A threesome with them was a dream for many alternative rock fans, guys and girls. Oddly enough, neither sister ever married or has kids. They even say they’re asexual (sucks). Oh well, Kim and Kelley Deal, if you read this, please visit South Florida soon and hapy birthday from poeticmotherlover.
Top photo, Breeders circa 1993 Bottom photo, Breeders circa 2006, I think
Permalink
06.07.09
Posted in , Local at 11:28 pm by Administrator
About maybe a year ago, I made a post where I stated that I was going to participate in every raffle type contest possible. My objective was to win something for free. I assumed that the odds of winning were higher if you signed up for more contests. Likewise, some contests might have only a few people signing up. Turns out that I was right.
A few weeks ago, 93.1 Rock, the local radio station, informed me that I won two tickets to go see Green Day in concert when they visit Miami, this August. The tickets indicate I’ll be on the floor, row 1010. Let’s hope that rather close. I know that while the American Airlines Arena is kind of big, the floor can’t hold that much people. I wish the tickets had included back-stage access. Maybe, next time. Still, it feels good to win something without having to bribe anyone.
The 93.1 Rock contest consisted of adding a caption to a picture posted on the station’s website. The station had a different picture for every week along with different prizes. I posted religiously every week and now, they selected my caption as the best. Problem is I can’t exactly remember the caption nor the picture. But the important thing is that I won and of course, I’ll keep signing up for any contest I hear of. Hopefully, I can win those tickets to London, Los Angeles or Oahu.
Permalink
06.03.09
Posted in , Editorial at 3:26 am by Administrator
Everytime I check my comments inbox, I notice that my spam folder is full. The majority of the spam I have, consists of ads from companies promoting and selling products such as Viagra, Cialis, Lexipro, Prozac, Zoloft, Methadone and other medications. I probably get like 10 of these messages a day.
While I appreciate the fact that these businesses see me as a valuable customer I must express my thoughts. First of all, I’m only 28, I exercise constantly and I don’t do heroin. I won’t need viagra anytime soon. I’m thankful that you guys worry about the quality and longevity of my sex life, but I’m not one of of your target demographics such as old South Florida geezers. In regards to penis enlargement companies, I am happy with my size and I don’t intend to start a career in porn. Ron Jeremy can keep ‘em all. Likewise, I am irked by the thought that some guys actually have their dicks sliced open and have stuff inserted in there to make it larger (ouch!). If I ever know of some poor bastard who suffers from micropenis, I’ll send him your way.
To the breast augmentation folks, remember, I’m a guy. Yes, there are men who get pectoral implants, they’re called body-builders. I’m not one of those. If I want my pectorals to look nicer, I’ll work out more at the gym. In regards to diet medications and miracle weight-loss pills, I am not overweight. I’ll redirect all my 500 lb friends to your site and you guys can send me a check later.
Last but not least, to the Prozac, Lexipro and Zoloft salespeople: I’m not crazy. I don’t suffer from paranoia, deliriousness, suicidal thoughts, amnesia nor am I obsessive-compulsive. If you had a medication for stress, I’d gladly ask a doctor to prescribe it for me. If possible, you should design a medication for idiocy, which severely affects millions of my fellow Americans.
Oh, and please, do not send me ads for Russian mail order brides. I’m broke.
Permalink
