08.11.09

4th of July in Redneckville

Posted in , Travel at 5:40 am by Administrator

For July 4th, I drove up with my parents to jolly Beaufort, South Carolina. My older sister Ally, resides there with her husband, Pete. Pete’s job contract with the U.S. Marines is over and he had to rush down back to Florida, where a new job offer materialized. I had to help Ally clean the house, mow the lawn and pack things for their big move.

Beaufort (pop. 12.000) is a nice quaint town with landscapes that resemble a Thomas Kincaid portrait. The city was founded in the mid 1700s and several houses and streets are built in a colonial style. Some of these antebellum houses are valued at over a million dollars. There is also an abundance of creepy cemeteries. Beaufortians (not sure if that’s the right word), take pride in the area’s history: several of Pat Conroy’s novels are set there, and their subsequent movie versions has been filmed in the city.

Beaufort is located in a swampy area of coastal South Carolina, known as the low country. The infamous USMC base at Parris Island, immortalized in Full Metal Jacket is a stone’s throw away. Who knows how many young men have been driven to insanity by raving psychotic drill sergeants. A naval hospital and an air base are located nearby. Many military retirees choose to move there due to the scenic location, warm weather and conveniently located medical facilities. Locals prefer the flowing term “marsh” as opposed to “swamp”, which sounds too redneck (kind of like, “Billy Bob, tell mama I’m goin’ squirrel huntin in da swamp”). Of all the small towns located in the low country, Beaufort seems by far the most exclusive one. Classy Charleston is about 50 miles north.

Beaufort and the other small towns depend heavily on the presence of the military bases for their economic livelihood. If it weren’t for Parris Island, only 5 millionaire’s would keep their summer homes there. As you can imagine, the area is highly patriotic. For July 4th, most of the area’s residents head to Parris Island’s main marching square. The base gives out free hot dogs, burgers, cracker jacks and sodas. The fireworks are spectacular and last pretty long. Of course, since the whole town is there, you don’t only see the nice Stepford-type manicured families nor the young professionals. There are plenty trailer dwelling folks present, many with their camouflage jackets, hats, jorts, you name it. It is odd to see obese grandmas that can’t be older than 50, wearing jorts and strapless blouses which show off their wide array of tattoos. Likewise, their husbands are usually bald, obese, heavily bearded and tattooed men wearing Harley Davidson gear. After an hour or two, I could probably distinguish the different drawls like Ocala, Blue Ridge, Cajun, Appalachian hill-billy, Kentucky hee-haw, deep Mississippi delta and Texarkana. These are sights you don’t usually see in Miami, circus town if there ever was one.