06.07.09
Posted in , Local at 11:28 pm by Administrator
About maybe a year ago, I made a post where I stated that I was going to participate in every raffle type contest possible. My objective was to win something for free. I assumed that the odds of winning were higher if you signed up for more contests. Likewise, some contests might have only a few people signing up. Turns out that I was right.
A few weeks ago, 93.1 Rock, the local radio station, informed me that I won two tickets to go see Green Day in concert when they visit Miami, this August. The tickets indicate I’ll be on the floor, row 1010. Let’s hope that rather close. I know that while the American Airlines Arena is kind of big, the floor can’t hold that much people. I wish the tickets had included back-stage access. Maybe, next time. Still, it feels good to win something without having to bribe anyone.
The 93.1 Rock contest consisted of adding a caption to a picture posted on the station’s website. The station had a different picture for every week along with different prizes. I posted religiously every week and now, they selected my caption as the best. Problem is I can’t exactly remember the caption nor the picture. But the important thing is that I won and of course, I’ll keep signing up for any contest I hear of. Hopefully, I can win those tickets to London, Los Angeles or Oahu.
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06.03.09
Posted in , Editorial at 3:26 am by Administrator
Everytime I check my comments inbox, I notice that my spam folder is full. The majority of the spam I have, consists of ads from companies promoting and selling products such as Viagra, Cialis, Lexipro, Prozac, Zoloft, Methadone and other medications. I probably get like 10 of these messages a day.
While I appreciate the fact that these businesses see me as a valuable customer I must express my thoughts. First of all, I’m only 28, I exercise constantly and I don’t do heroin. I won’t need viagra anytime soon. I’m thankful that you guys worry about the quality and longevity of my sex life, but I’m not one of of your target demographics such as old South Florida geezers. In regards to penis enlargement companies, I am happy with my size and I don’t intend to start a career in porn. Ron Jeremy can keep ‘em all. Likewise, I am irked by the thought that some guys actually have their dicks sliced open and have stuff inserted in there to make it larger (ouch!). If I ever know of some poor bastard who suffers from micropenis, I’ll send him your way.
To the breast augmentation folks, remember, I’m a guy. Yes, there are men who get pectoral implants, they’re called body-builders. I’m not one of those. If I want my pectorals to look nicer, I’ll work out more at the gym. In regards to diet medications and miracle weight-loss pills, I am not overweight. I’ll redirect all my 500 lb friends to your site and you guys can send me a check later.
Last but not least, to the Prozac, Lexipro and Zoloft salespeople: I’m not crazy. I don’t suffer from paranoia, deliriousness, suicidal thoughts, amnesia nor am I obsessive-compulsive. If you had a medication for stress, I’d gladly ask a doctor to prescribe it for me. If possible, you should design a medication for idiocy, which severely affects millions of my fellow Americans.
Oh, and please, do not send me ads for Russian mail order brides. I’m broke.
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05.29.09
Posted in , Editorial at 5:44 am by Administrator
Now that my classes are over for the summer and I’m longer a slave, I can dedicate more time to my research, my training and the blog. My slavery, er…I mean, my classes had kept me quite busy, to the point that I could only post once each two months or so.
After talking and consulting with several South Florida bloggers, I realize that I should post more often in order to keep a steady stream of visitors. My future posts will be short and to the point. If necessary, I’ll write continuations if the stories are long and/or interesting. My older posts were too long. Some could have been divided in part 1 and part 2. I also plan to add photos to old and future posts. Some pictures will be taken by myself, others will be stolen off the internet. Visuals will give the blog a livelier feel. I’ve posted some pictures to go with the Komodo Dragon article.
In other news, I found an excellent olympic size pool to train for the swimming portion of the tri-athlons I’m hoping to participate in. I tried using the Tamiami Pool, but swimming lessons for kids are held their during the day, so the pool reeks of piss. Dam fucking little kids. Swimming in the ocean was difficult since the tides are high and constantly turn you over. Also, I get the sensation that a shark might appear out of nowhere.
I was swamped with finals in April, so I missed the Nautica South Beach, and a chance to stalk/cop a feel on Anna Kournikova (there’s always next year. Well actually, I think Anna’s overrated. There’s hotter women on FIU campus). I also missed a tri-athlon held May 3rd in Key Biscayne. Hopefully, I’ll be able to compete in either late June or July.
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03.29.09
Posted in at 8:18 pm by Administrator
The other day I had nothing better to do than to be on Facebook and MySpace for hours. No wait, I did have plenty of homework. Regardless, I found time to log on and check what my friends are doing. Facebook has updates of what a person does (uploading photos, changing status, etc); in other words, there is no privacy. On MySpace, I browsed for people I knew from North Miami Elementary school, almost 20 years ago. A few names don’t come out at all. I put in a John Smith and 200 matches appear. I don’t remember several friends’ last names. I remember their house, backyard, dad’s car, annoying snotty little brothers, but not their last name. So no chance in finding Rainier or Ronald.
I tried to find Kelly and get like 10 matches with her same last name, but not in Florida. I find Stephen whose family moved away in 4th grade to someplace in Broward County (Broward was paradise, for some reason). They moved to Weston, he went to Weston High and later Florida State. He was probably a frat-boy type; his profile music is the FSU marching band song. What a freaking nerd! I hope he’s not one of those dumb-asses that worships the quarterback like so many others at these football powerhouse schools. I discard the idea of sending him a message as I doubt he’ll remember me.
I find Stephanie, my 3rd grade crush, who also moved away. She was so cute in 3rd grade. Now she’s a grown woman, but not really grown. She’s rather short and chubby. And she’s a cop! With her own cruiser. Her profile doesn’t give any info on love life. She might be a dyke for all I know. It says she works for the Miami-Dade County Police. So, if she stops me, maybe I can talk her out of giving me a ticket. Here goes the scenario:
Stephanie (in fake redneck accent in order to create intimidation): May I have your license and registration, sir?
Me: Here officer, oh by the way. Did you ever go to North Miami Elementary?
Stephanie: Why yes.
Me: You were in Mrs. Cox’s class, right?
Stephanie: Yes, Mrs. Cox. She looked like a dodo bird without feathers.
Me: it’s me M_______. Remember me?
Stephanie: M_______! Well you used to climb on my back and harrass me…sexually. (Changes tone from friendly to angry)
Me: Well, but you used to enjoy it because you never ratted me out to Mrs. Cox. And Daniel, the fat kid told me that you liked me, but you had already moved away.
Stephanie: Well yeah, but…
Me: So..are you single? Wanna go out on a date?
Ok, I don’t know if I might invite her out or if she might be friendly. What if she turns out to be butt ugly? Now if she turns out pretty and we date, what if she becomes jealous-obsessive-compulsive? She does have a gun, you know. What if I wanna break up and she messes with my record. Switches mine with a convict escaped from San Quentin. Can regular cops even do that?
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02.25.09
Posted in at 4:40 pm by Administrator
I’m fucking tired of turning on the T.V., radio or internet and hearing the most insane, outrageous, blood-thirstiest, vomit-inducing, terrifying headlines ever. To paraphrase Peter Finch’s character from “Network”, I can’t take it anymore. Let me digress on this phenomenon. News outlets are basically businesses. They aren’t supposed to be profit entities, but they are. That’s just the way life is. Companies that sell products or services have to advertise. The media is the best way to advertize. News media outlets need advertising money, which they attract with ratings. ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX and all non-cable channels are free for viewers. Cable channels like HBO, don’t need excessive advertising.
We live in convoluted times. We’re constantly busy running to our lunch breaks, to work, to yoga, to meet our Facebook friends, to pay our bills. Our schedules are full because we want to do several things at once. TV takes a backseat. We don’t have time to sit around watching TV shows, news or even quality programs like 60 Minutes and 20/20. I get my news on the internet and I never watch TV anymore (I blame it on Grad School).
TV executives are aware of this. Ratings are a rat race with short term success. If a show doesn’t have high Nielsen ratings five weeks after it’s debut, producers pull the plug. They forget that you have to let the show advance a bit before people start noticing. ”Cheers” was dead-last in ratings it’s first season. They gave it time and it developed into a classic. TV executives don’t have patience anymore. They want easy money. What do we get: reality TV. Cheap, easy to produce, no diva-ish actors and ratings are high. With MTV’s Real World, it seemed harmless and fun. When people stopped being nice and started acting crazy (real isn’t necessarily accurate), ratings flew through the roof. Producers smelled money easier than Ron Jeremy can detect a rotten crotch.
After the creation of the trashy talk show a la Jerry Springer, producers said ”well if people want filth, let’s give ’em filth.” Which means that we get every strange idea imaginable on TV: Wife Swap, Date My Mom, Laguna Beach, Real Housewives of Kentucky, Rock of Love. These shows feature the most outrageous people (reality TV personalities) who do anything to extend their fifteen minutes of fame; producers will bring them back if they can guarantee ratings. The epidemic doesn’t end there, it spreads to the news outlets.
Go to MSN, Yahoo, or Hotmail and read the headlines: “4 year old goes on shooting rampage”, “Man enslaves children, locks them in basement”, “Vote for World’s ugliest dog”, “Who’s sexier: Michelle Obama or Laura Bush”, “Grandmother of 12 to pose nude for Playboy”, “Brooklyn man had 600 unpaid traffic tickets”, “San Quentin inmate becomes cannibal”, “Man cheats on wife with horse”, “Man leaves horse, goes back to wife”. Tabloid headlines attract viewers and create more advertising revenues. Curiosity killed the cat. I myself, am guilty too. Any headline with “nude” and “actress” calls my attention. Some folks find it reassuring to read about people who are more pathetic than them. They feel better knowing that others are stuck in worst shit or have made fools of themselves of national TV. Now let me get back to my stupid statistics homework.
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01.03.09
Posted in at 6:43 pm by Administrator
So 2008 flew by. We elected Barack Obama as president. I volunteered locally with his campaign, which makes me proud to have contributed time and effort to history in the making. While I had my doubts about his experience, the selection of Biden as VP, endorsements from Warren Buffett, Colin Powell and even Bill Kristol, the assumption of many conservatives that McCain would go the way of the Dodo Bird and Palin would take over, drove me to the Obama side (in case you’re wondering, I’m a Centrist). To all the arrogant pseudo-Marxists, who said the United States was a country of rednecks who would never elect an African-American as president, all I have to say is: Blow Me.
In 2008, I finally graduated with a B.A. from FIU, and I got accepted into a Master’s program. On the employment level, things didn’t go so well, and by year’s end I’m fucking broke. Atleast I was able to visit New York. I just got hired as a substitute teacher and hopefully this will provide fodder for future posts. In some respects, I feel that 2007 was better; I had more hope, less debt. Now I have less hope, more debt (thank you Wall Street). I’m sure things will change. Here’s my New Year’s resolution:
1. Avoid more traffic tickets (dam cops, shouldn’t it be enough with my taxes).
2. Compete in my first Triathlon and finish in a decent spot, not 397th, like I did in that South Miami 5K, back in July.
3. Kayak to Stiltsville.
4. Re-learn how to play guitar. I started when I was 13 and then I quit and went into sports. Back then I was unaware that musicians get massive amounts of punani (sigh).
5. Bike more than 100 miles in less than 8 hours. The idea is that after covering that distance, I can start preparing the logistics for my long bike hike to New York.
6. Learn Capoeira. It’s offered at my gym, it looks pretty cool and there’s hot women at those classes.
7. Concentrate on my research.
8. Watch atleast 300 of the movies on my NetFlix queue.
9. Buy myself a new pair of Chuck Taylors, a nice suit (a buddy’s getting married later this year and there might bridesmaids to seduce), track shoes, some American Apparel items.
10. Read 50 of the books of my “To Read” list. Preferably novels, fiction and non-related to my Master’s.
11. Keep working on my novel.
12. Backpack through Europe or visit the West Coast. Of course, my travel will be cheap-style, staying mostly in hostels, couches..maybe a rented van, a park bench here and there.
13. Avoid getting arrested.
14. Nail an Asian chick (a challenge since they are so few of them in Miami and the Tri-County area).
15. Get people to read my blog.
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12.20.08
Posted in , Sports at 4:29 am by Administrator
After the Beijing Olympics, an idea struck me….why not a Summer Olympics in Miami. Yes, I know, I sound like a crackhead, but first let’s dissect the idea and analyze it. It might not seem so crazy after all (and isn’t the U.S. the land where we achieve the impossible?). It would do miracles for Miami’s image. The city is already the cultural and transportation crossroads of the Americas and a Gamma World city or whatever that means. If Saint Louis was able do to it, so can Miami (Why the hell pick Saint Louis?).
When organizing an Oympics you must look at finances, infrastructure, sponsors, city size, transportation and sports venues. Avoid a city (or nation) that’s suffering from political turmoil. If a civil war breaks out suddenly, you’re forced to move or cancel the Olympics. Also, pick a city where mayor and commissioners don’t hate each other. If one side comes up with the Olympic idea, the others will try to sabotage it. Local politicians (with the exception of Manny Diaz), are seen nationwide as jokes (in all truth, they are), but they’ll put their differences aside for an Olympics.
Weather-wise, South Florida is perfect. But the Olympics must be held around June or September, preferably during the cooler hours. We don’t want athletes falling prey to the sweltering heat and dying in our vice-city streets. Referent to cost, the Miami Olympics, similar to Atlanta 96, can receive plenty of funding in the form of corporate sponsorship. Locally, we have Burger King, Carnival, Norwegian, Spirit Airlines, Bacardi, Perry Ellis and Ryder Systems. South Florida has several airports which can handle the visitor influx. The tri-county area has plenty of lodging sites, no one will have to sleep on park benches. Miami Beach hotels alone, can hold up to 400.00 visitors.
Cities that hosts the Olympics offer housing units in the form of an Olympic Village. A few of those grandiose but empty high-rise condo buildings in Downtown Miami would be PERFECT as an Olympic Village. The condo is the perfect symbol of Miami to the World. Past Olympic villages have resembled Communist-era tenement buildings in East Berlin or Moscow. The Miami Olympics can raise the bar when it comes to style.
Olympic cities have a grand stadium wihich is the centerpiece of the event; this site is used for opening and closing ceremonies and track & field events. New York’s plan for the 2012 Games failed when it’s West Side Stadium plan was rejected by the state legislature. Currently, plans are being devised for a baseball stadium for the Florida Marlins in Little Havana; good location, but if it’s built for baseball, it can’t host much. Pro Player Stadium is neither Olympic nor does it have an optimum location. The old Bobby Maduro Stadium that was bulldozed a few years ago had a perfect location in Mid-town Miami. Now, its the site of a Target and other shopping stores. I say screw Target and the shops, let’s rebuild the stadium (Target can be a sponsor). There isn’t another site for a stadium. Traz Powell at MDC North? Location sucks. Lockhart Stadium up in Fort Lauderdale? Too small. FIU’s new stadium? Only made for football. Any stadium down in Homestead? Cow country.
Let’s think of venues for other sports: gymnastics, an Olympic favorite; I say American Airlines Arena. Swimming and diving can be held at the Fort Lauderdale Aquatic Center. Basketball can be played at either the AAA or UM’s Bank United Center. Triathlon can be held in Biscayne Bay. Sailing too. Key Biscayne can host tennis. Several indoor events such as wrestling and tae-kwondo can be held at veues such as the Bank Atlantic Center or the Miami Arena (if it hasn’t already been demolished). For rowing,….. we’ll think of something. And for the marathon, police must cordon off all necessary streets and make sure none of our psychotic local drivers kill any Olympic runners.
So there… all set. We need a big stadium in Mid-town Miami and we’ll get our Olympics. But it has to be for 2020, to give time for preparations, sponsorship and cost allocations. For 2016, Madrid is the front runner and miles ahead of us. Chicago is also vying to host the event and has the U.S. Olympic Committee’s backing. Since summer Olympics were held rather recently in both countries (Barcelona 92 and Atlanta 96), Prague might get a chance. I think Rio de Janeiro, the other finalist, should be chosen since an Olympics has never been held outside of North America, Europe or East Asia. So for Miami it’ll be 2020 or 2024…2028(?)….it all depends.
Some people do have their heads up their ass!
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11.08.08
Posted in , Love & Relationships at 4:46 am by Administrator
Appearances are very important to all of us. We lie all the time and say “looks are overrated, I care about personality”, but it’s hogwash. Once I went on a blind date with a girl who said online that looks were overrated. Guess what. She turned out to be short, round, hairy and a wanna-be dominatrix. Sorry sweetie, if you look like Angelina Jolie, maybe I’ll play tie me up games with you, but not when you’re butt ugly. The same goes for women. When was the last time you saw a 5′2″, bald, chubby guy with glasses getting laid by the ton? Unless he’s Donald Trump (bald ugly fuck), he ain’t getting any.
We all want to improve our looks and image. Why do women spend hours applying make-up and fixing their hair? It’s not to look nice for their female friends, that I can tell you. Why do guys spend so much time in the gym? Or try to get the flashiest car possible? In order to attract the opposite sex. That’s why guys do a LOT of things, like becoming musicians, writing poetry, working out, being a club promoter, telling people you’re a doctor, etc (whole industries are dedicated to studying this phenomenon).
There are a myriad of ways we can improve our looks; natural ways like exercising and dieting; then there are drastic measures like surgery. Have you ever noticed that women receive less bullshit about improving their looks and are generally expected to do so, while men will be ridiculed if they transgress certain boundaries? I actually don’t condone men who would do something only women would do, I’m just playing the Sociologist here and wondering the “why factor”. Let’s start with height: women wear high heels to look taller and sexier, gaining between 3 and 6 inches. If a man wears boots or shoes with extra soles to gain inches and his attempts look obvious, he’ll be laughed at. Only Tom Cruise got away with this. It’s a good thing that at 5′10″, atleast I’m in an OK height range.
Women get nose jobs, cheek implants, chin touch-ups and wear contact lenses because sometimes blue eyes can look so cool. If a guy does any of those, he’ll be considered gay or metrosexual. Oddly enough, certain facial features, like a big nose, might even be seen as more masculine (and we do want to look masculine,, hence, the gym). Same goes for hair. Guys simply cut it short or use hair gel. Only David Beckham gets away with competing with his wife to see who has more fashionable hair. If you ask me, I’d prefer to be Ronaldinho with his large teeth, over pretty boy Beckham anyday.
Plenty of women get fake breast jobs, and it is socially acceptable. Women will talk about how great and confident they feel with their new boobs. Pamela Anderson and Jennifer Lopez have made careers out of their abnormally large boobs and ass. A man with fake pectoral muscles would be the laughingstock of the gym. The same goes for tummy tucks and liposuction. Personally, I do 400 reps of abs atleast twice of week. Would I give slack to a guy that had something done? Probably….
One operation which is acceptable for men is gastric bypass. The people who undergo this process aren’t lazy couch potatoes. Obesity can be hereditary and is aggravated by other conditions. Time, stress, bills and nagging spouses also play a role. A strong 240 lb former college linebacker can easily develop into a 400 lb slob. If those extra pounds are hurting your self-esteem and threatening your heart, and you can afford the procedure, I say go for it.
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08.26.08
Posted in , Travel at 1:28 am by Administrator
The Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York is HUGE. It took me a painful 2 days to cover the whole entire place, mostly because I enjoy stopping and reading every description of the exhibition. Yes, I’m a nerd and I don’t give a fuck. I still can’t believe all the art the MET has; whole rooms with paintings of Van Gogh, Monet, Gaugin, Renoir; J.M.W. Turner had a whole section to himself. The museum had art crafts from every culture around and from every historical period. A whole ancient Egyptian temple that had been moved during the building of the Aswan Dam was brought to the MET. Fucking amazing.
I stayed in an Upper West Side hostel. Since I’m trying to be cheap and save money, I picked a mixed dorm-like room with seven other people; among my dorm-mates were a group of Frenchies, one dude who had recently left the army and was desperate to get laid and two Wisconsin girls who were interning for a Congressman in Washington D.C. Initially, the two seemed to be lezzies, but I started talking to one of them. She wore eyeglasses, had a Jackie O type haircut and nice natural squeezable boobs (I’m a sucker for girls with eyeglasses and nice boobs). Her friend seemed to hate me and sabotaged my chances. On the third day, I became friends with a Russian dude, Sergei. He was a big Bon Jovi fan and seemed pretty fond of American culture. Somehow I became Sergei’s guide in New York, even though I barely knew the city. Sergei told me to contact him if I ever visited St Petersburg. Hopefully, he has some hot Russian female friends.
“Hair” was being performed at the Delacorte Theater in Central Park. I tried to get tickets but it was impossible. Free tickets were given out at 1:00 PM on a first-come first-serve basis. I got there at 10:00 AM and the line had over 5000 people, some waiting since 6 in the morning. Now, I’m pissed I wasted my time trying to get tickets for “Hair” (I had to walk there and YES it was pretty long walk). Instead, I should have gone to the Natural History Musem. Later that day, I took a train to Elizabeth, New Jersey, to visit a buddy from high school. He hasn’t changed much physically in 10 years, but it was odd to see him married with a daughter. Through the train windows I saw a few toxic waste sites and abandoned warehouses. If I were a New Jerseyan (is that correct term?) I’d be pissed at my local officials for not cleaning up.
On the fifth day, I visited the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. The ferries that go there get a little too overloaded for my comfort (Thank God I’m an expert swimmer). Both these monuments are so awe inspiring; after viewing the exhibitions inside the Statue of Liberty pedestal and Ellis Island I felt huge pride in seeing the historical values these monuments had and their significance for the new arrivals. It was getting emotional reading about the anguish faced by the immigrants, those tired, hungry masses yearning for freedom when suddenly the dam guards kicked us out. It was closing time and the last ferry was leaving. Talk about ruining my mood, oh well, atleast I saw the whole place.
The next time I go to New York, I need to take another train and explore Connecticutt and Long Island, checkout the Natural History Museum and a few Broadway plays. Also, I’ll either take some buddies so we can wreak havoc on New York’s nightclub scene or I’ll take whatever woman I’m dating. Central Park is pretty romantic ya know, especially in the Fall.
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08.12.08
Posted in , Travel at 4:30 am by Administrator
Last time I was in New York I was 11 years old. We just stopped shortly on our way to visit an aunt in Connecticutt. And since my parents are no fun, we didn’t do sightseeing. Well, last week I spent 5 glorious days in the big apple. I must admit that now I feel a bit dissapointed at Miami’s single line metrorail system when compared to New York’s gargantuan (if such word is appropriate) subway network. Oh yes, the dam subway in which I got lost several times. Well, I took the wrong line and ended in Brooklyn, Harlem or Queens a few times, but atleast not in Long Island or New Jersey.
I was advised to take the famous sightseeing bus with the annoying guides explaining everything. Being the urban adventurer that I am, I gave that idea the boot and instead I took the subway to a certain location and then did a bit of foot reconnaissance. Doing this, I got a better feel of the neighborhoods instead of on board a bus like if in a safari. I trekked across the Upper West and East Side, Tribeca, Soho, Chelsea and Greenwich Village. I missed Little Italy and Chinatown (next time). I noticed that Manhattan has many Asian-Americans and white Liberal Hipsters/ along with the other New York ethnic groups: Italian, Puerto Rican, African-American, Irish and Jewish. Mind you I couldn’t visit the other boroughs. My friend Joseph who is spending the summer in his native Brooklyn, disconnected his phone. He would have been a perfect guide. At press time, he still is up there. Joseph is always saying that women in New York are far friendlier than in Miami and are more open to his odd pick-up style.
On my first day in New York, I visited the Empire State Building. after reaching the 83rd or 89th floor platform, the bastards that work there says that we can go to 102nd floor for a small fee. Why didn’t they fucking tell us this info downstairs? Then I would have said “screw the 89th floor, I’m goin’ straight to 102nd”. Still the view was nice. Times Square was pretty cool. I’m still in shock that cars actually respect pedestrians and don’t try to kill you. By the way, Times Square is full of Chinese artists who charge only $5.00 for a black and white portrait. Talk about driving down the price and killing the competition. A $10.00 portrait is cheap as is. But $5.00 is simply too little. The other artists need to make a living too. But alas, that was one of the few cheap things in New York. Decent food was expensive. I survived mostly on hot dogs, pretzels, burgers and pizza slices. When I found a kind of cheap buffet on 34th street, I totally stuffed myself….I’ll tell you next article about the MET.
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